On October 11, 2009, I stood up and proclaimed out-loud that I wanted "to prepare for marriage and family." I said this miked in front of a significant number of people. Because there wasn't a man in my life at the time, I declared that I was going to spend time "getting ready" for the love of my life. As we know, it didn't take long for my man to walk through the door. Truth is, I had been preparing myself for that magical moment my entire life. I had just VERY CLEARLY stated that I was ready to meet the man I would marry and with whom I would create a family. After that special day of making that announcement, I began working on an intention - my calling card to GOD.
This is what I am asking for.
The Universe is a YES man (or woman). Its nature is to give. In order to receive that which we are asking, we have to be open to receive, but more importantly, we have to know what is we TRULY want. The Universe is waiting to create with you your ideal partnership, to be co-authors to your fairytale. You just have to ask (state your intention). But first...
1. Know what you want.
2. Realize the Universe does not hear the word, "NO"
3. Be careful what you wish for.
In order for those three "rules" to work favorably for your intention, you must
A. Spend some quiet time with your heart to find your deepest desire.
B. State your intention "Positively Present"
C. Be specific --generally.
To begin, what do I mean by, "spend some quiet time with your heart?" The quick answer is meditation, but a more complete answer is "soulful contemplation." In order to get to the truth of what you want in a relationship, begin by answering this question.
DO I WANT TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP??
Silly question, right? But it's really important. I run into so many women that say that they are wanting a relationship but there are no good men out there, blah blah blah and when I ask them about sharing their life with another and opening their heart, they scream, "Oh, no. I just want a cool person to hang out with. I have too much I need to do on my own before I meet the one." Ok, this is incredibly valuable information. Do you want, like me, a relationship that culminates into love and marriage, or do you want someone just to be your plus one? Do you want a close, intimate connection, or very casual? You must get to the bottom of these questions first.
(This is weird time to do this, but I feel the need to state a disclaimer here. I am writing from my experience and as a result, will use the language of
women seeking men. By all means, I include homosexual relationships or men seeking women in my "how-to", however, the language will not reflect this. Please know that LOVE IS LOVE. I simply want to share what I know to be true my fairytale...feel free to substitute the pronouns for it to be true for yours)
Now resistance plays into effect here. Some people truly want a casual, passionate
dating relationship. God bless them. I always thought that I wanted just to be casually dating someone, but when he wouldn't call for two weeks, I was devastated. I would have to be reminded by friends that I was the one who said, "sure, it's cool. We don't need to be exclusive." As I cried and ate bon-bons, I had to be reminded of this. I was like the people who truly want the committed, loving partnership, but find that they are too scared for a multiple of reasons so they continue to say, "nah, just dating for me."(Fear is a huge obstacle in the way of what we truly want. We will get to the bottom of these fears in later blogs) For now, I just want you to know the truth. If any resistance or fear creeps in, ignore it for now. Just listen...DO YOU WANT TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP??
The sweetest, softest most loving part of your heart knows the answer. It can answer with only love. The ego is not present here, only the soul. Some call this your "higher self" and at my school, we called it your "inner counselor."
In order to key into this part of your heart, let's do this...
Take out your journal and your favorite pen. Write the question, "do I want a relationship?" on the first page. Look at the words and say them to yourself three times. The first time, just let the words sit in your mouth. The second, allow the words to travel down your throat. Visualize the words moving down your throat into your heart and then ask the question again. Close your eyes, count backwards from one hundred, going deeper into your heart with each number. Open your eyes. Read the words at the top of your journal and write. It can be a one word answer or you could have a lot to say. Feel free to write or even draw as much as you need to.
If you come to the conclusion that you indeed want a relationship, please step forward. It doesn't matter if you found that you want a walk to the alter or just a date on Saturday night. It only matters that you are CLEAR that what you see on your paper is what is TRULY in your heart. We good?? Ok, moving on...
NO NO's
What we want to do now is construct an intention and an affirmation to call out to the Universe and magnetize your partner toward you. An affirmation is a sentence or two that positively defines your intention. An intention is the end result you want. These will need to be written in the present tense with positive language. Negatives cannot be used in your intention or affirmation because you will attract exactly what you don't want. To illustrate this, I'll tell you about my friend, (we'll call her) Sally.
Sally was absolutely ready, willing and open to partnership. She knew that she was finished dating the kind of men (mainly players who had a flare for the dramatic) she had been dating and was bound and determined to manifest a great guy for a long term relationship. She knew the power of intention so she created one that she thought would clearly meet her needs. Using the present tense she said, "I AM NO longer attracting the wrong kind of guys. NO more drama. NO more players. NO men who are unavailable. I AM through. " Guess what happened in a matter of months??? She was faced with so much drama, approached by unavailable men (married, some of them), and all of them, playing the field. Now, in a way, this was good. It gave her an amazing opportunity to 1. see how powerful her words are 2. say "NO" to all of those kind of men that didn't fit her ideal. The problem was she couldn't say "NO" and spun down a negative spiral that only therapy could stop.
BE POSITIVE AND STAY PRESENT
An example of an intention:
Soulful participation in a beautiful, intimate, committed relationship with an emotionally, spiritually, physically available man that culminates in marriage and family. This or something better for the good of all concerned.
An example of an affirmation:
I AM joyfully opening up and authentically expressing myself in the romantic relationship of my dreams, easily and effortlessly residing in our abundant loving as we dance together through life.
If you notice, I use a lot of
feel good words. Because you will be saying your intentions and affirmations daily, you want to feel good doing it. Here's a list of some yummy words to inspire you.
abundant (ance, ly) generous (ly) open wonderful (ly)
adventurous giggling optimistic worthwhile
appreciate (ing, ive) happy passionate (ly) youthful
authentic healthy patient (ly) yummy
awesome honest possible zany
beautiful (ly) intimate rapture
bountiful joyful (ly) respectful (ly)
caring jubilant roses
courageous kind (ness) serendipitous
daring kissing (able) serene
delicious liberating sexy
dream (y) loving tantalizing
easy(ily) loyal tingly
effortless (ly) magical unbelievable
express (ive, ing) marriage universal
fabulous miraculous vulnerable
fun new wild (ly)
After you have constructed your delectable intention, add "This or something better for the good of all concerned." God has a much better plan in store for us, always. I could never have put together that I would not only be in love with a wonderful man, but one who grew up in my hometown, knew my family, had the same values, and lived in my favorite city. I don't have the heart, imagination or brain power to create such a perfect scenario, but God does.
Be sure that your affirmation starts with the words, "I AM." This puts you living in your intention. When you say your intention and affirmation every morning (HOMEWORK :) ), really see yourself in the relationship of your dreams, feeling the feelings that you hope to feel.
BE SPECIFIC --Generally
We've heard "Be careful what you wish for because you will surely get it." Be aware of the words you choose. This is not the time to get too specific about the man you want to attract. We will work on those adjectives later. Right now, we want to concentrate on what kind of relationship you want and how you want to experience yourself in it. In my life, I have found that the Universe listens and listens well. Words like "a lot" could give you more than you bargain for. "Taking it slowly" could keep you in a relationship with someone who is afraid to commit. Focus on how you want to
feel participating in your fairytale relationship. Light a candle, play some inspirational music, listen to your heart, and begin. When you're finished, make your wish a blow out your candle.
As part of my own fairytale, I was not the only one that affirmed an intention of a romantic relationship. Daniel made one, too. He was living in his one-bedroom garden apartment in the summer of 2009. In August, his landlord came to him with the proposition of remodeling the basement apartment and connecting it to Daniel's with a spiral staircase. Daniel was all for this. When he shared this with a close friend, she said, "What are doing? You are doubling your space and your rent. Are you crazy?" Daniel responded with,
"I'm building it for her."
He met me 2 months later.
WAY.
